Putting a Life Long Dream on Hold

Ever since I was 6 years old, in 1st grade, in Miss Lindsey's class at Jenks East Elementary School in Tulsa, OK I have wanted to be a Teacher. (a first grade Teacher)
Every year at Jenks we had Career Week.  For Career Week we would draw what we wanted to be when we grew up.  The pictures were hung in the hallway and judged.  Every year I drew myself as a Teacher, and all my friends drew different pictures.  Nurse one year, Teacher the next, Astronaut the next... etc. 
Everything I have done since then has been with that goal in mind.  I had people my whole life tell me how much of a natural I was with children.  I started babysitting in 5th grade, I helped out with the younger kids in Sunday School... when I got into High School is when I started taking classes that would help this dream come to reality. 
I didn't take the normal "4-6 years" to get through College.  For many reasons.  I started out at Biola University, but we couldn't afford for me to stay there, so I came home and went to Cuesta College our local Junior College.  When I moved home I moved into my own apartment and so I had to get a job to help with rent and bills.  Over the next 4 years I worked full time, and more than full time, and went to school part time.  Since I didn't know where I would end up next I took mostly Early Childhood Education classes.  I knew that even if they didn't transfer to the University level at least they would help me with my Teaching Career.  I did eventually transfer to Cal State Bakersfield, and I was almost done, but they didn't offer the same Sign Language class there that I had taken at Cuesta and I needed one more Sign Language class in order to graduate.  So I made the decision to come home for a semester and take Sign Language and a couple general ed classes I still needed. 
I of course had to work while I was home, and a couple months in I got hired at Lindamood-Bell Learning Processes.  This was an educational company that worked with kids and adults with Learning Disabilities.  I didn't plan on it when I started, but this ended up being my longest break from college.  I loved the company and it's mission, I knew that the knowledge and skills I would gain here would immensly help me in the classroom later, and so when it was time to return in the Fall, I decided not to.  I worked for Lindamood-Bell for a little over 4 years before I decided to leave and return to college.
So, I graduated in 1992...most of my friends not only are well into their careers, but also are married with kids at this point in 2005... but I'm returning to finish up my BA!  But, I wouldn't trade my experience for any of that. 
So, Fall of 2005 I went back to CSU Bakersfield and finished up my BA.  I chose the Cal State Teach Credential program and started that in the Fall of 2006.  Seriously the BEST Credential program in CA. They start you in the classroom immediately... all the other programs you start in the classroom your 3rd quarter.  Ask any Teacher and they will tell you that you learn in the actual classroom on the spot, not reading books.  I was priveleged to have some of the best teachers in SLO as my master Teachers thanks to Bonnie Johnson.  Since Bonnie was the Art Teacher she knew the best of the best and hooked me up with them! :)
So, I FINALLY finish school in December of 2007 at the age of 33.  Most people finish at 23.  But, again, I wouldn't trade all my experiences.  I am blessed to have all of these experiences, they will make me a much better Teacher. 
That year there were 27 Teachers retiring in SLO District.  I was excited, I had lived there for 20 years, I had plenty of references of important people... and then came the Budget Cuts and Pink Slips... and instead of Teachers getting hired, they were getting fired.
A hard decision had to be made...stay here or move out to Texas where my best friend and her family had moved in May of 2007.  There weren't budget cuts there, and there were WAY more elementary schools (30 in Round Rock ISD alone, and that was just one suburb of the Austin area, SLO had 5!)
I applied both places and didn't get hired either place but I did feel like God was leading me out to Texas.  I was hired to work with Camp Fire for an after school program before I even left SLO.  Once I got to Round Rock I had a second job waitressing 9 days in, I even got hired on the spot. God was opening doors. 
Okay this is already long enough... so, here we are... I've been subbing for 3 years now.  Even though there are more schools out here, there are also thousands of people subbing and fighting for those openings.  I definitely thought I would have my own classroom by now. 
Well, now TX is having Education Budget Cuts.  I was so mad.  I couldn't believe this was happening. This is why I moved out here, to get away from Budget Cuts.  Now TX is firing thousands of teachers. 
Now what?  Well, unfortunately it's not looking good.  So, with great sadness I have put that Teaching Dream on a shelf and I have started looking for any full time job.  The good thing about working and putting myself through college is that I had many different jobs. 
I have decided that I will not sub a 4th year.  I definitely feel like I have put in my due time with subbing, and I need to have a steady job with guaranteed hours and pay. 
If I start to think of this more than a day at a time, I get overwhelmed and depressed.  So, I am just taking things one day at a time, and I remind myself daily (sometimes hourly) that God is in control and He has this under control.  His plan is way better than mine could ever be.  And who knows, it could be a Teaching job in the Fall, but it might not be. 
See, I don't blog often, but I do pour it out when I do :)  I would say I will try to be better at blogging, but I can't promise that.  I just am not good at it. 
Love and miss my friends and family in CA... I'm really hoping I get to make it home for Summer this year, and it isn't like last year where I only make it home at Christmas.  But of course it will all depend on where I am working and what they are willing to let me do. 
I would appreciate your prayers as I wait for God's Timing in granting this Dream of Teaching.  He, after all, is the one who put that Desire in my heart and blessed me with the skills that are needed for that profession. 
The photo below is my first grade class... can you find me?

Oh, and Happy St. Patrick's Day!  I am lucky enough to be Irish every day... but I do love this Holiday where everyone parties in honor of Ireland :)